He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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