paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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