I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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