I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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