do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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