Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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