Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
