All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
high people should be assigned attendants
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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