so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
