Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
