Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Randomize
