Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
