sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
