You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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