now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
