One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
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