he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
