Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
