what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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