I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Randomize
