please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
