his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Randomize
