put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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