Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
