Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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