Define "chronic" masturbator.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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