This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
