I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
