Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
