4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
