just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
