i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
