You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I just had sex on a roof
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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