i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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