i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
