Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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