she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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