I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
