I'm so fucking centered right now
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
so much tequila, so little girl.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
