she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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