my mouth tastes like poor choices
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Randomize
