in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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