It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
