I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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