Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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