Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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