I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I need water and some morals
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
