Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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