I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
