Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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