What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
