I only kidnapped one of them. chill
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
