party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
